I had visited Marquette University as a high school student to see my sister Mary. My dad was an airline pilot for Ozark Airlines which meant I would be able to fly back and forth to Milwaukee on a space available pass. The cost roundtrip $ 6.48. When the Marquette Warriors and Al McGuire won the NCAA title in April of 1977 I was set.
Freshmen year I lived in a 12 story round dorm called McCormick. The residents were all male with almost all of them freshmen. I was in heaven. This was college to me. The drinking age was 18 years old and McCormick was just a block away from all the bars. If you wanted to go OG the Ardmore Bar was right across the street.
I was in Room 1217, 2 guys from DeSmet were in Room 1220. I thought I would be life long friends with both of them. On the other side of the twelfth floor was Matt Kinsella, I am thinking Room 1208, because we had different paths to the elevators we did not see 1201 through 1215 as much. I remember we were outside playing football and I found out he went to Priory. I was excited and told him I went to SLUH, Matt was underwhelmed with my news. Three blocks away was the girls' dorm, where Mary Vining lived with Sue Stroble and Cathy Krowley. Well all the St. Louis people eventually got together. Matt and Mary are going on 40 years, and Sue and I lasted about a couple of months. I believe I was a little immature at the time. ha ha.
We all kind of hung out Sophomore year in a different dorm, and soon Matt and Mary were headed back to St. Louis to get married and start their lives. We have been friends ever since. Matt married the prettiest girl in O'Donnell and started working construction for Fred Webber. There has not really been a moment of my life since that we were not good friends and saw each other on a regular basis. While my life has been in a constant state of somewhat flux. For God's sake, Matt and Mary remember when I worked at McDonnell Douglas. Kids today do not even understand those words.
From the early days, Matt and Mary were forming a family working hard to be one of those families that is always together and always pulling for each other. I am not sure if it made it over to the new house, but in the last house there was a chalkboard that kind of gave the family highlights for the month, I think it might have even had a clever saying on it. Matt Jr. was the first to arrive on the
scene, folllowed by Lauren (my goddaughter, a honor I am more proud of each year) and Bridget.
I sometimes think of Matt and Mary having an easy, completely consistent life. They have always been there, always had a nice home, and was always ready to roll out the welcome mat from me. When I actually move from self-absorbed to selfless, I remember more details that tell me that the two of them have overcome many obstacles in their lives and they did it without missing a beat. For gosh sakes, without thinking, I thought their life was easy peasy. (for a minute I thought that was the breakfast special, but it was yesterday). Matt and Mary had to pick up the whole family and move to Cape Girardeau to keep things moving forward. How could that have been easy? But the two of them did it, by always working hard together, being there for each other and the kids, and just telling themselves they had to do it. They were a family when I was contemplating whether to spend my money on beer or baseball tickets. (Matt and Mary have been my Bleacher Season Ticket partners for 27 years (thanks Tom Kutz)).
Matt Jr now is well on his way to creating his own home with his wife, Jen. Lauren might still have a little bit of craziness in her blood, but she married Andy Lottes, a Priory student of mine that I have known since he was 11 or 12. They know have two kids. Bridget is working hard now and has just recently returned to the new family business. Oh yeah, I kind of forgot that. Matt and Mary started a business just a couple of years ago, it is not easy, but they decided it was the best way for them to keep this family moving forward. Started their own business in their 50s ?? I told you life was easy for them. So Matt and Mary, now almost 40 years later are 3 for 3 with 4 RBIs. They have quietly demonstrated to me what family is. They have also always included me with their kids and invited me inside their home for years. This is what community looks like. It would have been nice if I had found a wife, they showed me how to do everything else.
Let me very clear how they did it. They did it with love and they did it like Jane and Jack Magee did it, a lot of times where they selflessly put their children's first. This is really crazy, anyone who has seen my house or my car knows I probably have a lot of tabs open on my computer. For some reason, just now, Whitney Houston has started singing the Greatest Love of All. It has always been about family for Matt and Mary, yet somewhere along the way they have always been good neighbors and still have good friends from every place they have lived. Maybe there neighbors looked into their home and saw they were doing it right. Mary told me this week, Doctor Tony, from about 8 houses ago gave her a summary of my condition. The GREATEST LOVE is easy to achieve, learning to love yourself. This is easy, I can just type what Whitney is singing.
Find your strength in LOVE. If you need any more lesssons, I can take you to a house in Kirkwood. If you walk in the door, you sense it right away. There is a realness in this new house, it is a home. I wonder when I realized that Matt and Mary would always be in my life. I should have at least bought them dinner. There are not my students --- but
Matt and Mary I AM SO DAMN PROUD of what you have built. A home for all built with love.
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