Burdges and Barrys back to back. Again it is my premise that large families make community. If you think about growing up in Christ the King Parish in U. City for a couple of decades in that school there was a Barry and someone knew that Barry and all of a sudden there was an opening for a conversation and community. Today, we have smaller families and it is quite possible for a family of two to go to the same school and never meet another family of two kids who are in different grades. But the family of 9 kids connect us all. Even today in St. Louis, every knows a Barry.
I knew Mike from my little sister years ago when they were still in high school. Mike and I kept seeing each other at Cardinals' playoff games in the 1980s, so one time at a bar after seeing Mike again I suggested we all drive to Kansas City together for the World Series games. I have been friends with Mike ever since, Matt told me that he has known me since I snuck him into bars underage. I have vague recollections of my possible complicity in this criminal behavior. I am sure once inside Matt conducted himself as a gentlemen he is today. I now have real and different friendships with Mark and Matt and of course, Mike. Each of them is a bit different and I can see the different gifts and talents they each have. Also many years ago, I tried to pitch woo at their sister Bridget but apparently bad jokes and annoying her completely on the way to Churchill Downs were not a way into her heart. Bridget first taught me how to own the dance floor and to dance like no one was watching. I am sure if Bridget was in town, we would have a closer friendship. The rest of the clan always greets me with warmth and a hearty handshake.
Here is the thing about the Barry family, I am sure they have their differences and drive each other a little bit crazy, but I have never ever seen anything but love and loyalty from each of them to each other. Bridget and Nora and I traveled to visit Matt in Greenwich Village years ago and have 4 or 5 great stories from that trip that we can recall and laugh together. I do not think it is an accident that their parents are both kind and very humble people. For years, Mrs. Barry sat behind me at basketball games and when things got awful. She would cheer in a very grandmotherly way, "C'mon Billikens." For years when I watched the Bills at home on my own TV and they had back to back turnovers, I could hear Mrs. Barry in my head. Cheering the way someone who loves you would cheer for you. I have told players when I was a JV coach, that there is no pressure at JV games because everybody in the stands loves someone on the team.
Poor Matt, he has waited 3 days for my words about what a great guy he is and I am blabbing on. Matt is the calm in the storm. There have been several times where I have listened to him after some difficulties and he was just perfectly calm discussing rational next steps for us to take. He was that even as a young man we visited in New York, when he was the voice of reason as Bridget and I were a little more apt to stir up trouble in the Big Apple. I have known Matt before I was a teacher, but as a friend he is so supportive of what I am trying to do and the causes that I try to help. When he asks me how school is going, I know he actually wants to hear and listen to me. And I know if I have a problem he will stop and reflect and help me towards a solution. He might wince as a reaction to a problem, but he is always there and ready.
A few years ago, I was dropping off baseball tickets at his house. Mark and Matt and Ed Poth and the Kinsellas and Kevin Lee and his brother-in-law Bob have been partners for many, many years now. So anyway I was dropping off tickets and looked out in the backyard(s) -- it was actually the two yards together and I saw kids playing a myriad of activities. I was so heartened to see kids just making up their own games and just having "kid heaven" . It was amazing to watch, and I know this happened because Matt and his wife Megan, put a lot of love and thought into their parenting. Just when I thought I could not be more thrilled watching this scene of chaos, with balls and soccer nets and pool noodles all around, my student, Janie Freeman walked out of the neighbors back door. Of course, Janie was part of this. Playing with Steve Gianino and my brother and Tony Sciuto and Steve Young when we were kids---still nothing better.
I would love to in my life have created as something as wonderful as that backyard I saw that day. But instead I am quite proud to know my friend Matt created it with help from Megan and of course the always smiling reluctantly Janie Freeman. So now I have to invent a time machine that will take me back to that day and also make me 8 at the same time, because kids today have cooler toys then we did. I still feel cheated the Big Wheel came out, about 2 years too late... and I was too big for it.
As I think about the world I have seen up close and on TV, I wish every kid could spend just an hour in Matt Barry's back yard. Maybe I will take a nap now and just fall into that dream.
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